There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
