His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
