dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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