i need an iv and a liver transplant
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
