Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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