yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
