i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
