i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
