the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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