I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
They are going to name an STD after you.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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