At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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