dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
