do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
