I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
