I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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