I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
