I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
