i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
