I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
