yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
