I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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