Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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