just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
