Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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