Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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