I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
