dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
it hurts more in the daytime
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
