shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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