i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
