you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
