They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
