there was a trapeze. enough said
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
