grandma shit on top of the toilet
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
