i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
