I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
