elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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