I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
