my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
