the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
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