a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
