party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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