Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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