Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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