All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
