so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
