THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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