Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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