Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
