He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
