she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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