Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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