i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
