id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
where am i from again
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
